Ebb and Flow

Courtesy of some friends who were kind enough to be patient with me during my sangat dummy-spit, I've learned that being part of a community doesn't mean you have to like everyone and that everyone has to like you.  I've learned that it is ok to go within yourself every now and then and do some questioning and soul-searching and it doesn't mean you're forsaking your community.  I've learned that true friends will tell you the truth about yourself bluntly and when you've done enough wallowing in self-pity they pick you up, dust you off and say now, get back into it!

So next time you're having a off week, it's ok, take a break and get back on track, then get back into it.

And so the pendulum swings again, from inward isolation to communal exuberance.

My heartfelt thanks to those who helped pull me out of my funk - you know who you are.

Sadh Sangat

Community - United by a common interest

In Sikhi, there is much said about a concept called Sadh Sangat, or Company of the Saints (the word 'sangat' by itself appears 446 times in Guru Granth Sahib (Sikh scripture).  Sikhs are encouraged to seek out this Sadh Sangat and there will be found Naam (realisation of Creator).  I struggle with this concept on a couple of levels and it is frequently one of the pendulum motivators.

Firstly, I asked at my Gurdwara (Sikh church), what is Sadh Sangat?  The lady I asked said 'it's where you are when you're in Darbar Sahib (prayer hall) with other people and Guru Granth Sahib'.  My experience of Darbar Sahib is listening to the kirtan (Sikh hymns), reading the English translations on the projectors, standing for ardaas (communal prayer - in Punjabi which I don't understand yet), reading the translation of the hukamnama (command of the day from the Guru Granth Sahib), receiving the prashad (blessed sweet deliciousness at the end) and leaving.

It is all a very pleasant business.

But it is formal, there is no interaction with the congregation, and Sikhi is very much about practicality and not about ritualism, so merely being there surrounded by silent people can't be the point, right?

After leaving Darbar Sahib, people go and eat langar (communal lunch).  In over 12 months of regular attendance, I've only overheard one snippet of discussion (in English) about the service.  I was enthralled for the entire 20 seconds.  THAT'S where it's at.  Discussion, learning, sharing amongst each other.

So I figure, I'll join the Gurbani class.  The Gurbani class is great, but it's small (4 or 5 regular attendees including the facilitator and his wife).  And it's primarily in Punjabi.  So I don't attend often, I don't like sitting there not understanding until someone stops and summarises in English for me.  I feel like an imposition.

So, learning Punjabi should get me into the community, into this Sadh Sangat.

But hang about- if God is universal, why should anyone have to learn another language to get closer to God?  Do the aliens on Planet Zorb speak Punjabi too to have sangat?  I doubt it.

Ok, so where can I find English speaking Sadh Sangat?  Certainly not in my city it would appear, I am the only person I've met (...) so far who doesn't speak Punjabi at my Gurdwara.  So, what about online?

Great!  Great forums in English!  Discussion, sharing, learning, evolving.  Happy days!

But, being anonymous, people aren't as careful with their opinions as they are face-to-face.  Forums are wonderful and toxic, in equal measure.  It's a free-for-all and you have to have a mighty thick skin to endure it.  Even if you're a long-time member, other long-time members will throw mud at you for an opinion that doesn't match theirs.  And so the pendulum swings between productive discussion and learning to self-defense and exasperation.  Is this what Sadh Sangat is meant to be like?  Where is the love and respect for each other, damnit?  And what is the online world anyway, except a waste of time? (yes I see the irony in that comment but I'm choosing to ignore it! haha)

That leaves two options... 1. find some holy saint or baba and follow them - that would technically be the Company of A Saint, right?  Or 2. perhaps this Sadh Sangat idea is not about egoistic humans at all?

 Option 1 is a no-brainer - Sikhs look to no Saints or babas.  Guru Granth Sahib is the only baba for Sikhs.

Option 2 gets a little vague.  If it's not about egoistic humans (the human on the surface), it might be about recognising the Creator within all of creation and having communion with that being instead.  Relating to humans not as their egotistical self-masks but as little lamps of divine light, however dirty the glass might be (obscuring that light).  That light is nevertheless within them.  If we can maintain that level of awareness, is that not TRUE sangat?

There is one other supplementary option for those who are really unable to connect with any sort of human community... and that is the collection of bani (words) of the Saints and Gurus within Guru Granth Sahib Ji itself.  If you are reading and contemplating this Gurbani, are you not communing with the sangat within the scripture?  Can you not imagine yourself in the company of Fareed, Kabir, Gurus Nanak, Arjun and Tegh Bahadur Ji as your read their inspired words?

And thus I present the pendulum of sangat.

And I leave you on a terribly happy note (yeah, right) with this gentle reminder from ang (page) 10 of Guru Granth Sahib Ji:

ਹਰਿ ਜਨ ਕੇ ਵਡ ਭਾਗ ਵਡੇਰੇ ਜਿਨ ਹਰਿ ਹਰਿ ਸਰਧਾ ਹਰਿ ਪਿਆਸ ॥
Har jan ke vad bẖāg vadere jin har har sarḏẖā har pi▫ās.
The servants of the Lord have the greatest good fortune; they have faith in the Lord, and a longing for the Lord.

ਹਰਿ ਹਰਿ ਨਾਮੁ ਮਿਲੈ ਤ੍ਰਿਪਤਾਸਹਿ ਮਿਲਿ ਸੰਗਤਿ ਗੁਣ ਪਰਗਾਸਿ ॥੨॥
Har har nām milai ṯaripṯāsahi mil sangaṯ guṇ pargās. ||2||
Obtaining the Name of the Lord, Har, Har, they are satisfied; joining the Sangat, the Blessed Congregation, their virtues shine forth. ||2||

ਜਿਨ ਹਰਿ ਹਰਿ ਹਰਿ ਰਸੁ ਨਾਮੁ ਨ ਪਾਇਆ ਤੇ ਭਾਗਹੀਣ ਜਮ ਪਾਸਿ ॥
Jin har har har ras nām na pā▫i▫ā ṯe bẖāghīṇ jam pās.
Those who have not obtained the Sublime Essence of the Name of the Lord, Har, Har, Har, are most unfortunate; they are led away by the Messenger of Death.

ਜੋ ਸਤਿਗੁਰ ਸਰਣਿ ਸੰਗਤਿ ਨਹੀ ਆਏ ਧ੍ਰਿਗੁ ਜੀਵੇ ਧ੍ਰਿਗੁ ਜੀਵਾਸਿ ॥੩॥
Jo saṯgur saraṇ sangaṯ nahī ā▫e ḏẖarig jīve ḏẖarig jīvās. ||3||
Those who have not sought the Sanctuary of the True Guru and the Sangat, the Holy Congregation; cursed are their lives, and cursed are their hopes of life. ||3||

pen·du·lum -ism

Pendulum: a body so suspended from a fixed point as to move to and fro by the action of gravity and acquired momentum.

-ism:  a distinctive doctrine, theory, system, or practice: This is the age of isms.

Okay, so that's a bit cryptic.  Let me explain.  I'm a person searching for Truth, but as much as it pains me to confess, I 'swing like a pendulum' in my ideas.  One day I'm a Sikh, tomorrow, I'm a humanist, the day after that I'm a misanthrope. One day I'm finding Truth in abundance in Sri Guru Granth Sahib Ji ('holy book' of the Sikhs), the next I'm combing the Bible for little morsels of spiritual goodness (the Bible is the holy book of the Christians, but I'm sure you already knew that).

This 'to-ing' and 'fro-ing' of ideology is frightfully annoying.  Blind faith would be a blessing.  But no, Tiny Plankton has to over-analyse everything and is rarely satisfied.

And I'm as moody as I am spiritually fickle.  It's all-or nothing, black or white, good or evil, man or woman, carnivore or herbivore, right or wrong, absolute or null, sinner or saint, soldier or pacifist, procrastination or proactivism (ok, I'll be honest, it's more procrastination!), inspiration or boredom.  I wonder if what I've got is in the DSM...?  *shrug*

So, this blog is a space for me to write my views at any given time, to try and document my pendulum-ism, to see if I come across any Truth, and to learn a bit more about myself.  Mastery of the self is the key, apparently.  And perhaps it just might be entertaining for someone out there who is also the victim of this information overload disorder: pendulum-ism (quick, get me the address for the American Psychiatric Association! haha).